Submitting to the Sickness

Per usual I have obtained through no fault of my own (I swear) my typical September Cold.  YEEEHAWWW.  So very thrilling I can’t even contain myself as I wave my tissue pom-poms in the air with a barely mustered excitement. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as September rolls around I always…

Mad Lib Friday

Friday Mad Libs

From now on, or whenever the hell I remember, I’m going to present you with some Mad Libs.  Remember Mad Libs?  That shit was great.  I remember being in my bedroom on the corded phone with my best friend (it was the 90’s! yea!!), filling out Mad Libs and laughing uproariously.  Of course we’d make…

Swear word symbols

Profanity: A Pretty Word for…

F-Bombs, Shit-words, Bastards, Bitches, Whores (nope, not a swear), Assholes, Etc.  Profanity just sounds so classy.  Here’s what I want to know:  What the HELL is wrong with profanity?  Why can’t I drop an F-bomb on your ass(hole) now and then you bastard?  Hmmm?  Do tell?  It’s not like I’m trying to be mean to…

Side view of the gutter

Tandem Sleeping

When I write Tandem Sleeping it makes me laugh.  It reminds me of slalom or something or for some reason bob sledding.  Why?  Why? Anyway, I want to write about sleeping with someone else.  It’s weird.  In particular I’m going to tell you about sleeping with Mr. VS.  Doesn’t that sound like fun and/or inappropriate?  …

Want some delicious coffee?  You know you do.  Wanna get f'ed up in polite company?  While your boss watches on?

A New Addiction Cometh: Coffee

I’ve recently added a new addiction to my collection: coffee. (I do collect addictions even though I make claim to NOT having an addictive personality. FYI, the things that I claim are always strongly suspect.)  Regarding Coffee, I never thought this addiction would happen to me. I thought I was immune to Coffee’s charms.  But…

Uncanned Laughter: Post O’ the Day

I’m responding to a Post O’ the Day!  Here’s the prompt:  “A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny. “ When I went camping a year ago with friends, we had the…

Friend-cation and Camping Sucks

I just went on the most fun friend-cation ever!  BEST TIME EVER!!  YOLO fools!!!  (We were all about yelling YOLO about anything and everything because we hate it so much.  YOLO is dumb (as is Facebook and everyone’s obnox posts about themselves).  It’s something you’d yell while doing a keg stand, however it’s actually trying…

I Abused Photoshop Just For You

Here’s another one of those things that just blows your mind.  PHOTOSHOP!!  I’m actually a photoshop user, but I don’t really abuse it like some people do.  I don’t flog the ‘shop.  However, for you, for today, I decided to do it.  Abuse!!  (Also this post is NEWLY updated, by popular demand, with the original…

Weight Gain Extravaganza

Recently I came to the conclusion that we have so many feelings and emotions and thoughts and self-flagellation and judging of others involved in our weight.  I know, I’m a genius for realizing this super obvious emotional response.  However, the thought that occurred to me is that we ALL do it without even realizing we’re…

Resting Bitch Face Syndrome

So one day when I was perusing the ole Facial Book (why do I still do it?  Although without…I wouldn’t have found out about this serious disorder, so FB is good for something), I found that someone had posted about something called “Resting Bitch Face.” See…. Guys…for serious, this is a real thing!  I’m NOT…

Studying the Male of the Species and Boy Eyes

Do you live with a man?  Do you know one?  Have you ever interacted with the male of the species?  You know…those ones that aren’t female?  Yeah, those guys.  You’ve seen them around, I’m sure.  They’re everywhere.  And yes, if you’re female,  you’ve probably been ogled by these so-called “males” of the species.  You know…

Just FYI – Submarines

FYI – Submarines Just an FYI that Mr. VS might have something to do with submarines existing in the world.  I just want to make that clear.  Also over the weekend while we were camping (more on that later) and were swimming in the lake, I climbed on Mr. VS’s back and said loudly…..DIVE DIVE…