Sarcasm Central

Cover Design

I feel like I’ve been afraid for a long time.  And I don’t mean “the fear” or panic or anxiety.  I mean afraid to reach my goals, afraid to put myself out there.  But sometimes someone can say the right words to you at the right time and it spurs you, it kicks you in the ass, showing you that you shouldn’t be afraid.  Because honestly I now believe that being afraid to chase your goals is a waste of time, a waste of your life.

A few months ago someone asked me if I was going to publish my novel.  She is someone I met recently, a fellow panic attack and anxiety sufferer, who is so much like me that I couldn’t believe she was a real person.  She agreed to read my novel for me and then asked me that all important question.  My typical response to a question like that would be, I don’t know, maybe, someday?  I would never commit, I had never thought I would really publish my book.

It’s been a long road for me with Angst.  I’ve been writing this story since 2009.  The funny part about the year 2009 is that was also the year that I stopped taking my medication.  In fact, it was just about 2 months after I stopped taking Lexapro that I decided to write a book about my struggles.  It was like my creativity had come back and I was me again, the same me I had missed, the crazy, creative, depressed and clingingly happy person I had been before I started taking the drugs.

I never imagined I would come this far with Angst.  But sometimes you meet someone who is brave, who is strong and you wonder, why can’t I be like that?  Why can’t I publish my novel?  Why must I feel like it isn’t ready or that I can’t do it?  This is how I felt about my novel for 3 years.  Publishing was a grand dream, a dream so far away that I would never catch it.  But when someone asked me, why don’t you publish? It finally clicked.  Maybe I could do this.

So for a few months I have been pursuing this idea, editing, revising and finally having a photoshoot for my cover.  With these photos, I feel there is new life in the project.  The photos represent how I want this book to feel, full of angst, suffering, mistakes, life at its rawest moment.  And I thought, I’ve got to share this story.  I want to share this story because I know there are people out there who suffer like I do.  I know, now, more than ever that there are people like me and I want their voices and my own to be heard so that people can understand what it feels like.  That is one of the goals of my novel, to really show exactly what it feels like in the moment of panic, to literally get inside someone’s head.  And I think this is amazing because I have never read a novel about someone with panic attacks before.  It’s something you don’t hear spoken of or talked about much.

And so, I’ve got to come up with a cover design, something that speaks to readers.  I’ve spent a lot of time playing with the photos, trying different fonts, placement etc.  I want to let whichever photo I choose speak for itself with minimal design because I feel like the photos themselves have a story to tell.   And so, the big decision has yet to be made.  I can’t decide.  I’ve picked out several favorite photos that I think represent what my book is about, but I can’t seem to pick between them.  Can you help?

cover art for blog

About Victoria Sawyer (283 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

2 Comments on Cover Design

  1. Hmmm… My vote is for #2 (top middle)…and I love the statement about being the me I missed. I know exactly how that feels! If it was just me I’d probably stop taking my meds too because I miss the crazy happy spontaneous creative me. Now I write/draw mainly when I’m in a bad way; when I’ve had a badd day or fought with my husband and then myself. I feel so much more then. It just comes out; like before. And I argue with myself about whether to post it or not. I don’t want my blog to ooze negativity, but life needs to be shared. I love your blog so far and I look forward to reading it. I also look forward to reading your book whenever you publish it. Xo


    • Hi Iminlike! Thanks for your comment. Actually the photo you chose is the one I think I’m probably going to go with, but I can’t decide on the placement of the text, whether I want ANGST at the top of the photo, like in the one you chose or at the bottom, like the one next to it. Decisions, decision! I think that photo is really the most blatant and in your face, literally! So I really like that. The others also speak to what my novel is about, however I’m not sure they are quite as powerful, although they are really cool! I can completely understand how you feel about not being “yourself” on meds. At first I think I didn’t realize that I wasn’t myself, but as the years wore on and I had no interest in any of my old creative pursuits, I began to realize that I wasn’t me anymore. And I wondered if that person would come back if I stopped taking my meds. I’ve been off them for about 3 years now, in fact I think last month was the anniversary of my decision to stop taking them. It was a good decision for me, but a hard one too. I’m going to write a post soon about how I’m feeling these days, a kind of update. And I have some secrets to share about what works for me to keep me more level. There are ways to live med-free, but that doesn’t mean all my problems are solved or that I’m still not wary or situations or places. My life is still somewhat restricted, but at least I got that crazy creative me back…I think that was worth it. 🙂 Best of luck to you and thanks for stopping by. 🙂


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