Sarcasm Central

Angst Journal Entry – Empty Physical Promises

depressed shot 1

So many empty physical promises.  I want to think that eventually I’ll feel something real and it will mean something.  That someone will want to be with me, for me.

Again my high hopes are dashed into a million tiny pieces.  That’s my life. 

 

To feel so much, I cannot express
To want this much is to be crazy
And said it cannot be
Understood it would not be and alone
Forever, especially today

 Today you’d have me physically
Tomorrow not at all
You can have me and here I am, all of me
But you’re not interested
And once you’ve won my game
You’ll play no more
So I won’t let you win
It’s not a game to me
I’ll not be a prize you’ll throw away

Somehow I’m not good enough
I never am
I’m ruining myself slowly
Destruction not far behind
No one takes pride in the way I look tonight
No one says “that’s my girl, isn’t she fantastic”

Depressive
How do I become worthy of you?
Starve myself to death, workout every day?
Or is the fault in what I was born with?

I’m sorry

How many times to be sorry
How many times to apologize because I’m not enough

But that’s okay because I’ve never been good enough for you

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About Victoria Sawyer (281 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

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  1. Angst Journal Entry – Anti-Beauty Queen | Angst

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