Last weekend I got myself into an editing frenzy because I heard back from my editor and a friend who had read a chapter for me (Thanks Em!). Their feedback really helped me and ever since I’ve been living and breathing my novel, writing new scenes, brainstorming about how to to convey a certain relationship, writing new dialogue and fixing parts that needed work. It’s a fun time. I love getting caught up in that kind of frenzy of creative activity and it really lifted my spirit to think that maybe I’m getting close. It’s extremely exciting to be that close to a dream, to actually feel that you are getting better at writing and that you will accomplish your goals. I almost can’t wait. I’d love to hit that publish button as soon as possible, but I’m tempered with the fact that I want my novel to be as good as it can be. There’s a fine line there, the line between holding on to something, waiting for a perfection that will never occur or letting something go and putting it out into the world.
I’m truly astounded that I might be approaching that choice! I’ve asked my editor to let me know where she thinks I’m at so that I can understand the process and try to envision some kind of time line for myself. I’m feeling fairly confident where things are now. The writing is fairly solid and could use some tweaks here and there but for the most part I’ve got a pretty good product and I’m pleased. I never really believed I could be an author and here I am standing on the precipice.
Have you ever had to make a choice about when something you created was finished and ready to be released into the world? I feel like I do that in a small way on this blog every time I post something and truly I’m sort of…more open to putting something out there that might not be “perfect” when I’m writing here. With my novel, it’s years in the making, years of struggles, years of learning about the process. There are so many nuances to writing a novel. Plot, pace, characterization, description both of character and place, a mood, suspense, creating the right ending, the right beginning, creating a “voice” for the main character. It’s so much more complicated than writing a quick post. But I’m getting there. Can you believe that I’m not being negative for once? I can’t either! It’s like I’m a new person. Not to fear, I’m sure it will come back. But for the moment, things is good.