Winner! And My V-Day Poem Explained!

So, amazingly, somehow, don’t ask me how, the winner of my raffle is Jocelyn Dex!  I swear to you guys on everything I hold dear that I didn’t rig this thing!  I just hit the button for Rafflecopter to let me know who the winner was and her name literally popped up.  So, congrats Jocelyn!  I’ll be emailing you a copy of my novel this morning!

Secondly in this post, I wanted to give you a hint of some background for my poem yesterday in the All You Need is Love Blog Hop.  My contribution was kind of depressing because it was about how saying I love you can leave you feeling exposed.  This poem is actually  from an incident in my real life.  Whoaaa I know!!  So here’s the quick story:

So when I met my husband (and YES can you believe he did this to me?) I had just come out of a 6 year relationship.  I was pretty messed up emotionally needless to say and we jumped into things quickly, so my mind was having a really hard time figuring out what was going on.  But I did know right away that I loved him.  It was scary to know something like that right away and with me being the emotional spewer of words, I could not hold back my true feelings.  So soon enough, probably a month after dating I was saying I love you to him.  He on the other hand had not had many long term relationships and is definitely more slow moving and thoughtful than I am and so his response to my declarations of love was, thank you.  THANK YOU!!  Talk about feeling insecure when you are crazy in love with someone and they say thank you and then proceed to tell you that you can’t force love, you have to wait until you feel it and you might not feel it for everyone, blah blah.  I was freaking losing my mind!  I loved this guy. I wanted to be with him forever and there was the chance that he would NEVER love me back.  OMG OMG OMG!!!  Talk about drama that I am glad I no longer have!  Eventually however he did say he loved me, although it was like 5 months later and things did all work out.  But for those months in between when I wasn’t sure what was going to happen or if my heart would be completely crushed and I’d be alone again, it was HELL.  Love can be painful!  So, there’s your dose of the insecurity, the exposed side of love!  Enjoy!