Sarcasm Central

I Call Shenanigans!!!

Humor, how I love theeeeee.

I think humor is a life necessity.  Like air, like water, like food.  We need it.  If humor didn’t exist my life would suck. I wouldn’t joke with my husband about truly terrible dirty things and laugh and laugh, I wouldn’t do ridiculous things like throw mini or large temper tantrums that may or may not involve stamping my foot and screaming.  I said, May or MAY NOT.  You have a very active imagination! Shame on you!

Humor is like a balm to the soul.  Truly.  Without it, I wouldn’t be able to joke with co-workers, or try to amuse you here on the old blog.  Without humor, I wouldn’t be able to make snide comments and have people accept them as my way of dealing with just about anything.  I couldn’t be sly or sarcastic or plain old hyperactive and I certainly wouldn’t be able to do this little thing where I run around the house as if I’m riding a bicycle with my arms (which I call “the small wheel”) or like I’m riding a horse with stamping feet while my husband rolls his eyes from the couch.  (Truth be told, he does it too, but won’t admit it).  It’s those kind of things that would just make me look insane without humor.

This cat has been breeding in my office building. Imagine coming back to your cubicle to find these beady little eyes staring back at you! Neuter your pets people!! P.S. I have no idea where this image came from, don’t hate me.

And you know what, I wouldn’t for that matter be able to rock out in a ridiculous manner, humping the air to Low Rider on our record player.  I mean, please, these kinds of things are necessary!  How else would I get through my day without going to the copy machine at work, copying pictures of a cranky cat and then coloring in the eyes and proceeding to paste them into unknowing, unsuspecting co-workers offices?  I wouldn’t be able to laugh at the knowledge that my cats were breeding in my building and that people were sure to look into those little staring eyes and wonder where they came from.

And without humor,  I wouldn’t be able to keep a log in my day planner of reports of “office shenanigans.”  Why just the other day a co-worker reported shenanigans and I wrote them down in my planner (and yes, these shenanigans were perpetrated by me, guilty as charged and no, I couldn’t keep a straight face as I wrote them down, but I really tried).  I also wouldn’t be able to joke about our need  at work for immediate assembly permits or alcohol permits.  Like…now.  The stress is too high!!  Or about the fact that instead of a serious yearly employee review, we would prefer to have staring contests with our boss.  Sounds fun, right?

What would our life be without these little ways to ease tension and stress?  You know I’m also contemplating all kinds of other ways to lighten the mood. Like a scale near my desk with a moveable arrow that allows me to portray my current mood without speaking.  It’s like a PMS scale or something but it rates how I feel everyday whenever my changeable mood happens to…well change.  For example, in the morning, you don’t mess with me.  My co-workers are slowly being well trained.

The thing is, without humor I wouldn’t be able to laugh at this snippet from an email in 2005 (I know…old history yet again, eye roll):

“Dear Brian, just a note…your boss called and said that your Christmas stocking is fired and so are you… he said he found all your emails to me and realized that you are a terrible employee who clars and clams and skunks up everything you do all day long. He even said that your association with Bosco is negatively effecting your work ethics. He claims that this so called Bosco is the biggest slug snake slime ball he has ever heard rumors about. Also apparently your stocking was talking shiz-nit about you all day. He even attempted to erase your name from his face, but it didn’t work out so well. Now it just says skunky-lunky-funky-ding dong. All your co-workers are completely horrified.  Just thought you should know, you know, FYI.”

Ahhh humor.  I love you.  Both in writing and in person, you are my hero.  I have stars in my eyes.  New boyfriend alert!!!  Don’t tell hubs. (And if you want to understand the above email reference, read this post.  No this one, here.  Here. Finally.  Danged links!)

Also for your pleasure, I have created a list of funny blog posts, because where oh where my readers, my darling readers, would we be without our old friend, HUMOR.  Capitalized!!

 Papa Angst:  Welcome to the Highlands

Out Where the Buses Don’t Run:  Should a Debut Novel “Play it Safe?”

Alice At Wonderland:  My New Epic Quest

The Official How to Blog:  How to Fold a Fitted Sheet

And oh yeah..if you know of a funny post…post that shiz-nit in the comments!  STAT!!  I need life support!

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About Victoria Sawyer (282 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

5 Comments on I Call Shenanigans!!!

  1. I loves me some hee-you-mah!

    Like

  2. I can’t think of the word “shenanigans” without immediately thinking of this:

    Like

  3. Holy shit, I didn’t think the whole video was going to embed..

    Like

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  1. What Kind of Strange Godforsaken Place is This? | Angst

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