Sarcasm Central

Addicted

You guys, I have a confession to make:  The girl who stands before you, or wait…sits before you…types before you, the girl clacking on the keyboard really fast, no still not right, the girl who is hiding behind the computer monitor, yeah her, she is a blog addict.  This is my brain on blog.  It’s like PCP or something hallucinogenic, whereby I write really crazy stuff with no shame.  Ab-so-freakin-lutely, no shame.  Shame on me.  Can someone please put out a PSA about this?!  I had no idea the dangers associated with frequent blogging and now look at me, I’m 78 or so posts deep after only 5 months.  FIVE MONTHS!!  You people need to recognize how truly heart wrenching this situation is.  It’s sad to see what’s happening to our nation’s youth, or those slightly older than the youth, but who still think they are young.  They always used to say you can’t trust anyone over 30.  Is that still true?  I didn’t just say that dirty word, 30.  Erase that from your brain.

See the staring eyes? That's from squinting at the computer screen for hours on end!

See the staring eyes? That’s from squinting at the computer screen for hours on end!

Now, blogging is a problem for me.  It’s like these words and thoughts just keep coming into my head and they are so freaking genius that I must share them.  I’m not under my own free will here, the blog is controlling my mind.  While I sleep, its in there crafting up crazy words and giving me delusions of grandeur.  See that, I did it again, I said my posts are genius and we all know that’s not true.  They are sad, sad ravings of a loud mouthed malcontent.

The thing is, I do kind of love it.  I wish I had found this drug, I mean blogging business earlier in my life because it’s so cool!  I get to write stuff and people sometimes read it and leave me with witty repartee.  I love that!  See, I can blame it on my readers for why I keep coming back.  You can be my scapegoat!  Why, by the by, are goats used for scaping?  I don’t understand that one at all, but I feel cool saying it.  So yea, the writer in me is loving to do blog.  Shoot up blog.  It’s like I can’t hold back.  I’ll write a post or two or three and then I just want to publish them!  I know, I’m going further and further down the rabbit hole now.

The thing is, I want to hold back because I’m terrified of blog burnout.  I’m sure it’s right around the corner, that soon I will have nothing left to write about, that I would have exhausted every conceivable topic and my blog will truly be my word of the week, year, this word is stuck in my head, insipid.  NOOOO!!!  Anything but that!!!  But I can’t stop!  That’s the true definition of an addict right?  Someone who can’t say no.  That’s me.  I just keep posting, day after day after day, when I should just stop!

Now the thing is, you guys will still be around when blog burnout inevitably rears its ugly head, right?  No?!  I knew you were fair weather friends! (colloquialism city! BAH) I can hear you now, “Look at that old blog burnout Victoria Sawyer! You new bloggers can take a lesson from her, she went too fast, posted too much, soared too high and now look at her, lost and alone.  No one reads that blog anymore.  It’s TRITE!”  Sob…SOBBBB!!  Is this my cry for help?  I don’t know…I don’t know.  It’s too much fun right now, it’s pulling me in and I don’t want to stop!  If it’s wrong, I can’t be right!  Don’t make me stop!

Now guys, don’t get used to this aside-style writing.  This is gonna be over soon (at least for ONE post) because I have an awesome SERIOUS blog post coming soon whereby I am going to challenge you to a duel and if you are afraid or chicken or yellow (again two references I just don’t get) I’m gonna say, goodbye and eject you from my inner circle!  haha!  I kid, I kid.  However I am going to challenge you.  Me…yup, the girl who is hooked on blog, who needs a DARE program stat. Or in this case a BARE program. HAHA.  Blogs Are Really Evil or maybe Blogs Are Really Epic.  And guess what?  My husband who is completely not cool at all and also older than me (haha honey!) told me that blogging is dead.  Wrong!  Wrong again!  I love being right.  Oh and did you know that blogging is a gateway drug to other harder drugs like Twitter?  It’s all very true kids, don’t start blogging.

Ok, I’m gonna stop being cliche, after all nothing under the sun is new and I’m just reiterating a bunch of stuff you already knew.  Oh and I swear to you, this is my last post for the week.  I promise!  (Can you really trust a blog addict’s promise?) Pretend I didn’t write that.  Now…come back soon to see my challenge.  It’s Truth or Dare!!  (Gene Simmons tongue!)

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About Victoria Sawyer (282 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

7 Comments on Addicted

  1. authorsawilliams // April 18, 2013 at 8:02 pm // Reply

    Blogging dead?! Never! Long live the blog!

    Great post (as usual).

    Like

  2. museconfuse // April 18, 2013 at 8:14 pm // Reply

    I hope blog burnout doesn’t happen to you. It happens to me on and off and I just keep coming back because I love it so. Great to see another blogger having fun writing~!

    Like

    • Hey Thanks! Actually my post the other day, Dear Blog was about me feeling burnt out at the beginning of the week and I needed a break. But now I’m charged up and ready to rumble! Thanks for stopping by! It is definitely fun to write…I’ll check out your blog too. 🙂

      Like

      • museconfuse // April 18, 2013 at 8:56 pm // Reply

        Thanks 🙂 I hope you’ll enjoy my blog too. I am in a bit of a funk but now I’m starting to get back in again 🙂 I love it and really enjoy reading other blogs too 🙂

        Like

  3. Wow, you are really crazy weird Victoria! I like it! lol…dont feel bad about blogging, you should read some of my wacked out post. But the reality is its your life and if you want to rant, rave, cry or laugh it’s all you. I think your blog says alot about you and depicts how alot of us writers feel. Hear me! lol….And eventually if we yell, write and bog enough, someone will!..

    Like

2 Trackbacks / Pingbacks

  1. Writing Makes You Look Fat In Those Jeans | Angst
  2. I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst | Angst

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