Sarcasm Central

She Shrieks My Anxiety

I’ve actually been inspired. I know…whoaaa!! Apparently all I needed was a daily prompt, which can be found here:  Daily Prompt:  A Source of Anxiety

Whirring like a propeller
Her voice slices through silence
In a never ending rhythm

“What should I do tomorrow…”

A crushing headache
Throbs behind my eyes

Grinding like a rusty chain
Squealing on hinges
Thrown by hurricane winds

“Remember when you embarrassed yourself…”

Over the intercom
She shrieks
Rambles and obsesses

Offset with crackling static
She assaults my senses

“I’m worried about….”

It never ends
There is no peace
There is no escape

I can’t ignore her grating voice

She drones and plots
Protests and worries
I’m drawn into her plans
Until tension arises
A physical manifestation
that grips and twists my bowels

Without thinking, without conscious decision

I’m drawn into her world

The awareness, the silence, my being… is lost
Buried under the sounds, the pulsating echo
That controls me, consumes me and all my attention

I’m her unwilling prisioner
participant, confidant

She places me before a mirror
Created by her, customized for me
She knows all my weaknesses
Every pressure point, every volatile subject

She knows exactly how to drive me crazy

Images are flashed
Words mumbled as weapons
One against the other

I can’t look away, I can’t unhear the words
The ache in my head intensifies
The space behind my eyes whorls

“When I get…”

I cannot help but be affected by her rhetoric
Her persuasive skills are unmatched

She’s too close, far too close
Spewing her insanity through my mind

I tire
I close heavy eyes
I want sleep

But even now she battles against me
Harrassing me with sharp words
Gouging me, convincing me, pounding into me
Droning, like an incessant buzzing insect in my ear

“Listen to me…”

She whines, screams
Whimpers and cajoles
Until I pull at my own hair
Great handfuls, my scalp sings

And still, she won’t stop her sneering

“Oh how I hate you…”

Get out of my HEAD!!
Get out of my HEAD!!

“What about the…”

Her voice cannot be dulled by padding
Her words are not diluted with water
They cannot be diverted with metal

Unless that metal is shot through my head
At high speed

Unless that water enters my lungs in one final breath

She is not alien, nor foreign
She is not another
She is not apart or separate
So I cannot escape

As we are one

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About Victoria Sawyer (281 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

2 Comments on She Shrieks My Anxiety

  1. Hi there!

    I found your great blog via Book Blogs! I look forward to reading your posts. Please follow my blog back at http://lorenmathisbooks.blogspot.com/ .

    Thanks!
    L

    Like

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