Sarcasm Central

Various Gifts and Strategic Planning

In life there are so many gifts!  Gratitude, bitches, cause I have so much.  One of the things I have that I truly appreciate is a couple lady friends who simply put, kick ass in so many ways!!  And I love them dearly for being so damn amazing.  They are creative, beautiful, thoughtful, generous, good listeners and good at giving advice and I just can’t stop using words like amazing and awesome to describe them.  My creativity and/or vocabulary is going down the tubes in the face of their AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC INCREDIBLE-AWESOMENESS.

So my dearest (awesome) friends are Kerri and Ev and we got together this past weekend for a lil holiday get together.  We got gifts for each other and each brought something for our guys to open so they wouldn’t feel left out (ha).  Kerri hosted at her house and we had amazing food, fun games, gift giving and some delish sangria.  I may or may not have gotten slightly or more so inebriated and it was the best!

Kerri got me a huge 40 oz Hydroflask, which I have been wanting and been too cheap to buy for a while.  This thing is hydration insanity and I have been pounding my 40 at work like a champ ever since (I’m water WASTED!!).  It’s, dare I say, BOSS!!  She also was a very bad girl and bought me two other items, a very soft fuzzy luxurious scarf and some all natural green tea face cleanser that I am excited to try out.  Ev on the other hand, got me some books I’ve been wanting to read (in particular The War of Art that will hopefully help me with my terrible procrastination problems.  Why the hell is it that we often refuse to do the things we truly love???  I put off writing all the time because for some reason it sounds horrible, when in reality I love it?? WEIRD FUCKING SHIT!).  She also got me the Untethered Soul which sounds like a great read as well, perhaps on par with Eckhart Tolle. And like a bad girl, she got me more stuff including some heavenly smelling natural handsoap and some naughty naughty chocolate.  Overall it seems that I have SCORED and brought home the pirate’s booty of Christmas gifts from my very thoughtful friends.

I did happen to get my creativity on for this party in the form of the gift I brought for my hubs.  We watched Fringe recently (I love that SHOW!!) and at the end they had this really cool poster that my hubs said he’d like to hang on our wall.  So I put it together with a background and had it printed at Staples for him.  It came out incredible and he loved it.



Here’s the badass poster.  I highly recommend you watch Fringe and print this out and hang it in your house.  Resist the MAN!!  Or Resist something.  Whatever you want!

So guess what folks?  It’s almost the new goddamned year. Can you believe it?  I can’t and think it’s a pretty good thing that I always assume I’m at my next birthday at my last because time flies these days!  I’m already 31.5 years old!  So it’s a good thing I’ve been assuming I’m 32 years old for the last 6 months.  It makes the disappointment of aging easier to handle.  Maybe.  Anyway, this will probably be my last post, at least until after Christmas.  I’m pretty stoked for the Holidays and am ready to party with friends and family.

As far as the actual new year is concerned, I should really really make some predictions, I mean, make some resolutions.  As an FYI, therapy is going well for me.  We’re using the Internal Family Systems model.  I’ve never thought of myself as “parts” before, but it’s very interesting to analyze yourself and how you work internally.  So…my goal for therapy is to understand myself even better than I already do.  My second goal is that I’d like to go off my meds again at some point.  As much as I’m enjoying all the crazy partying I’m doing (socializing like a mad fiend is one of my parts, BTW), I really miss the part of me who wants to write!  So I want to get back to her, hopefully in the new year.  I should also attempt to actually EXERCISE in the new year since I have done absolutely jack shit in that department for months and months.  I am the laziest slug ever.  Just walking a bit is more exercise than I regularly get.  How bad is that?  I would also like to continue reading about my soul, or my consciousness, a la Eckhart Tolle and now The Untethered Soul.

So I think I’ve got some good stuff ahead of me.  I know that making resolutions is pretty damn lame, but I think it is good to take the time to analyze where you are in your life and decide where you want to be in the next 6 months.  It’s like strategic planning that businesses do, but it’s for YOU!  So my strategic plan to increase creativity, decrease stress and existential meltdowns and write, write, write is on its way.  Did you make a plan?

My hope for you is that you will be socializing like a fiend this holiday season, making all merry and bright and perhaps a little drunk, that you’ll do a little self analyization (is this a word??) and that you’ll make a strategic business plan for yourself for the new year.  What do you want?  More money?  More happiness?  Less stress?  Better health?  Do it!  And also…remember to Resist!!  I’m sure you can come up with something to resist, whether it’s some kind of alien invasion or those evil anxious thoughts in your head.  The hot blonde chick above says you MUST!!

And on that note…Happy Holidays all!!!

About Victoria Sawyer (283 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

9 Comments on Various Gifts and Strategic Planning

  1. I got to the third paragraph and had to stop and AGREE. I am constantly refusing to do the things I love. Even therapeutic crap I am suppose to do because I like it AND it will make me feel better. Is it self punishment? I don’t know. My therapist asks me such questions a lot and I tell him, “I don’t know. That’s what you are supposed to tell me!”
    K. Now I’m am going to finish your post.
    Happy happy holidays by the by.


    • Hey thanks for stopping by! I do the same thing with so many different things. And once you’re doing it…it’s enjoyable. But just getting yourself to START doing it, is like pulling teeth. It sounds like absolute torture and horribly not fun. Sooooo weird! I do the same thing with exercise, meditation, etc. Ahhh!! It’s my brain’s fault…it’s screwing meee!


  2. That poster is saying to me, “Try to resist this.” Yeah, I can’t. Damn, she’s captivating.

    A merry fucking awesome holiday to you as well, and may the new year bring you more awesomeness than you can handle.


    • Oh, and IFS therapy is the greatest. I’ve been doing it for more than a year, and it’s helped me figure out so much about who I am and all the parts that make up my personality and my past. It can be rough and harrowing, but it’s been a great source of mental stability for me, in terms of therapy.


      • I agree and it’s the best because it’s so positive. Like none of you is the enemy, but certain parts go too far and you have to learn to ask them to step aside and trust your “self.” It’s pretty damn cool.


    • Why thank you Gus!! I am definitely looking forward to more awesomeness than I can handle!! Also yup…that girl is definitely captivating!! You gotta watch the show!!!


  3. I don’t know what happens to my fucking gravatar when I comment on your site but fuck it…I’ll be this little red blob dude instead. Word. I love this post. I love you too, you are pretty ah-mazing yourself. If you weren’t I would be avoiding you like the plague and we would not be besties at all. I like your notion that we should treat ourselves like a business and develop a plan or an outlook for the new year. Right on. I hope to bring myself more internal peace, less self-judgement, write more and get closer to having a career I can feel joyous about. That’s a lot of crap but I’m up for giving it a whirl. ❤


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