Sarcasm Central

Grilled Cheese and Soup

From the mouth of James Sawyer : Husband of Victoria

So you might be wondering why grilled cheese and soup? What is so interesting about grilled cheese and soup? Honestly, not much….aside from being just plain delicious. However, in the context of the rest of this blog post, perhaps you will find it slightly more engaging.(probably not)

So this one Saturday started off like most, where your wife kicks you out of the house. I didn’t do anything wrong to be kicked out of the house entire neighborhood, but apparently my presence was going to be somewhat disruptive to some hen gathering (I know sexist and rude) Victoria was playing host to, so I made myself scarce. I took my Jeep and headed for the hills….literally. I won’t bore you with the details of the overgrown trails and lost homesteads I found deep in the woods. They tell a story that could never be done justice by a short blog post. This story actually doesn’t even begin until I returned home late in the afternoon.( OK admittedly, I received a phone call giving me permission to return)(cue whip cracks from the peanut gallery)

Apparently Victoria and the other ladies had worked up quite an appetite, but were still busy stirring their cauldron (Again, likely sexist but I have no idea what they were doing). Much to their surprise I offered up my services to prepare dinner. I’m sure there was some skepticism on the part of Victoria and the others as to whether this was even going to be edible. Despite this, I even offered up several choice of fine cuisine based on whatever limited options the cupboards contained. The selected delicacy of choice was, yes you got it, grilled cheese and soup.

I cooked up the grilled cheese  and bacon tomato soup with copious amounts of love and called the ladies to the table. They seemed to be surprised that I had taken the time to set the table and place each plate with a fair amount of thought. (I don’t ever do this under normal circumstances) However, I figured any job worth doing was worth doing right, so I admittedly put in the effort to impress.  I received a few compliments at the time and even some in the days to follow. Victoria still claims I was giving them a false impression of how good a husband I am. (that was my intention)

The point of this story is that grilled cheese and bacon tomato soup is delicious; Victoria and the others never should’ve been skeptical of how delicious it was going to be.  I hope this story reads like a fable and you will never again be caught wondering whether your husbands cooking will make you wretch or have you begging for more. You will remember this story and know that he went out of his way to prepare you a delightful meal that will give others the impression he is a culinary master. (I am).

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About Victoria Sawyer (282 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

4 Comments on Grilled Cheese and Soup

  1. It’s true…the meal was culinary genius…mostly because I was starving but also because I felt like I was 10 again…ahhh memories. The fact that you were able to write an entire blog post about grilled cheese and soup is ridiculous…and tells me Victoria married the right person for her! P.S. the fact that the tags say gluten tooth and hens is even more ridiculous.

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    • We seriously hoped you would notice that Gluten Tooth tag. hahaha!! Mr. Sawyer is now upset that you were only hungry and didn’t really like his grilled cheese. HA! He was trying to impress, apparently. He claims that he only cooks grilled cheese to make people think that I have an awesome husband, but my belief is that he cooks yum grilled cheese to get people to fall in love with him. It’s the same reason that he makes cookies and pizza. He wants all the love he can get. I think he’s a hoarder. Just FYI.

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  2. Also what made the meal amazing was not having to clean up after ourselves! Also the gooey cheesiness. We all know it was for show. But that Mr. Saywer can make a mean GC, even if he is a Love Hoarder!! I’ve also had occasion to try his pizza. Yum. But I have not had the pleasure of partaking in the cookies.

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