I have a large backlog at the moment of blog posts that have just been withering away in obscurity, so finally I am going to publish the danged things. We’ll start with the shocker that I’m not human. Might as well get the nasty business out of the way first and foremost. (Apparently I am fanatical about aliens at the moment).
I’m reading Michael Singer’s An Untethered Soul. It’s a lot like Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, but it goes into more depth about why we think the way we do and how to combat those thoughts. There was one part that really blew my mind….like….MIND…BLOWN in massive disgusting explosion!!
He said….we’re not even human!
A shocking revelation! If we’re not human, what are we? Aliens? (I am) Animals? Gremlins? Freaks of nature? A cosmic accident?
Let me step back from that shocker to explain a bit. The idea behind An Untethered Soul and A New Earth is that each human being has Consciousness or Awareness that lives within us. We also have things like our Ego (which is that little voice inside your head that is CONSTANTLY blabbing at you, all day, every day and if he/she was another person you’d probably punch them in the face to get them to leave you alone). That annoying little bastard, (shall we call him Hermanitta? oh yeah I already did), doesn’t always know what’s best for us…. in fact his role or her’s seems to be to cause as much drama as possible and to get as much attention as he/she can.
In fact most of the time Hermanitta is working against us. (Although from the Internal Family Systems perspective (as I’m learning in therapy) there are no “bad” parts of self, only parts that are misguided, a la the ego!) So we have to work to realign those less helpful or more extreme parts of self so that we can be healthy. And with the ego…we need all the help we can get!
So Consciousness or Awareness is behind your thoughts and emotions. You are aware that you have thoughts, emotions and a little voice in your head that is never quiet? If that’s true…which is the true you? The thoughts? The voice? Your emotions? No, the true you, is the awareness of all these things and that awareness is something we all have in common, consciousness. It’s almost like an element or force of the universe. And we can access our pure self or consciousness whenever we want. All we really need to do is be present! (And being quiet helps too, I’m talking to Hermanitta’s little whiny bitch voice!).
By present I mean…not daydreaming, worrying, stressing, thinking, plotting, planning about the future or remembering the past. We need to be HERE, right now.
The way Michael Singer put it, is that if Consciousness is like an element or universal force, and consciousness can focus on many different things (among them, our emotions, Hermanitta (ego), or our thoughts) our focus is also on being human. Put a different way….we’re basically consciousness that’s focused inside a human form and so we often forget that we are not just human! That’s a pretty crazy thought… As Michael says:
“You’re not even Human. You’re just watching one.”
Whoaaaa!!! It’s like how you can focus your consciousness so fully on a TV show or a movie that you forget about your body and everything else that is going on. So too has our consciousness focused so much on being inside a human that we forget what we really are. It’s pretty stunning.
To access this deeper you….all you need to do is meditate or be quiet or just take a moment to notice your awarenss. It took me a long time, but I was finally able to quiet my thoughts enough to become my awareness. And when I did….it was amazing. I was my deeper self. I was who I was meant to be underneath all of Hermanitta’s negative self-talk and the rush and flow of emotions and the constant worrying, plotting, planning thoughts. I was there. Aware of everything around me….hyper aware. As Eckhart writes, I was able to feel the aliveness in my hands. I could feel the breathe in my body.
Realizing that I am more than just this human body and understanding the gift that consciousness really is, was intense and also very peaceful. I realized I was not those crazy thoughts in my head, or the voice that always told me to be afraid or worry.
So the shocker for the day is that a book told me I’m not human…and I believe it. I’m just watching this girl named Victoria. We’re sort of tied up together, intermingled. Most of the time my focus is completely held inside her world, her head, her emotions, whatever she might be doing, including her annoying obsessions, worries and anxieties. But sometimes I remember that I am really consciousness. And consciousness is free…