Sarcasm Central

Ahhh!!! Realization: I’m a Sci-Fi Nerd!!!

Oh God, oh God, oh God.  Oh GOD!!!!

PANIC!!! OH GAWD SAVE MEEEE!!

Ok, take a deep breath, everything’s gonna be alright. Hee…heee…heee…head between knees…deep breathing….

gasp….can’t breathe…heart pounding with terrible truth!!!

It’s okay, calm, soothe, calm, soothe.  Serenity Nowwwww!!

Haaa!!  It’s funny when you go through life without noticing a certain pattern and then suddenly that pattern makes itself apparent and you realize a stunning truth that changes your self perception.  You, by god, are a Sci-Fi loving Nerd!!!  WHAT!!!!  ME????  I thought I was cool and awesome!!  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??? The inner world of my self-perception is CRUMBLING AWAY LIKE DUST IN THE WIND!! (Did you know we’re all dust in the wind?  Kansas told me so.  Not the state.  Your ignorance is hurting me inside my heart!)

I never thought in the days of yesteryear when I was forced to watch Star Trek, the Next Generation (or the original because we had trouble with tribbles) with my dad (because he loves that stuff) that I would someday watch similar shows and ENJOY it!!!  I shunned those shows then and now I have become my father!!  NO!!!! Soooo geeky!!!(Love you dad!)

But it’s true.  I have been watching an awful lot of Sci-Fi lately!!  Here’s a list of shows/movies that I adore:

Battlestar Gallatica
Fringe
Warehouse 13
Eureka
Lost (Does this count?)
Star Wars (duh)
Caprica
Back to the Future (again, duh, I’m a child of the 80’s!)
Terra Nova
Firefly

I also used to adore watching Space Camp!  Who remembers this movie?  I was obsessed with it after we went to Cape Canaveral when I was young and watched a space shuttle launch.  OBSESSED.  That little robot thingy was sooo cute!  HAA!!  And the ANXIETY that movie creates, WHOA.  WILL THEY RETURN TO EARTH IN ONE PIECE??? AHH!!!!  And of course it was VHS.  Advanced technology!

So what is it about Sci-Fi (Fy) that appeals to my little mind?

I think it’s that Sci-fi shows can knock your socks off with plot twists and the sky is really the limit as far as these twists are concerned (how appropriate).  And these twists are not just Don Draper philandered again! and BTW…he LIVES FOR, LOVES philandering. Or purely, life as we know it twists where SVU figures out another sexual assault case.  Sci-fi features….universe-level plot twists. Twists that shake the very foundation or your BEING, of your actual existence!  Twists that make you think and wonder and imagine.  Twists that try to answer questions about things that we know nothing about.  We are…did you know…living in a scary huge wonderful terrifying “I may have soiled the carpet I’m so scared” mystery!!  IT’s TRUE!!  WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HERE??!!!  WHAT ARE WE DOING?!!

Like Fringe.  That show kept reinventing itself all the time and looking at things from different angles and adding little nuances and big WHOA moments that twisted your head all up in wonder!  It’s INSANE!!.  Plus, while Sci-Fi is weird and wild and out there and spacey (which I love, and I do mean…SPACE THE FINAL FRONTIER) it’s also got the same kind of “human” stuff that regular sitcoms and “life” shows have.  They have…love stories, religion (Gods DAMMIT!!  How I love General Tigh from Battlestar), human drama, but also the really big questions.  Why are we here?  What the hell is this place?  How do we make sense of our world?  What else is out there in the universe?  What if?  WHAT IF????!!  WHAT IF THERE’S AN ALTERNATE REALITY?  What if we had to populate another world?  What if we create life-like robots that try to murder us all? EEEKK!!!! Or how about we travel through time or other dimensions?  WHAT THE HELL IF???!!!  BT-dubs, there’s definitely another version of me out there writing really good, palatable, nice blog posts.  She’s the true winner, she’s the hot one.  I hate her.

(I’m realizing that all my blog posts are really about how my mind has been blown by something.  That’s it.  Whenever I’m either stunned silly (much like a tazed miscreant with a verbocity that scrambles the mind) or ranting mad, I write a blog post. Aren’t you thrilled and googly-eyed amazed by how often my mind gets excited and soils itself?  It does seem to be more frequent than is healthy.)

What’s weird is that I don’t read Sci-Fi books.  I’m not really sure why.  Probably because I wouldn’t know where to start (this is a cry for help…make suggestions!!!).  Although I have read Ender’s Game and 2001:  A Space Odyssey. Most of my reading pleasure comes from historical fiction.  So I’m well versed in the “supposed” future of Sci-Fi on TV and the past through fictionalized history (because obviously I don’t give a damn about the present).  I’m immersed in worlds that ARE NOT REAL!!  I’m living in a fantasy world!!  However since all the mysteries of this world have yet to be figured out, I’m probably doing okay.  The imagination is the limit!  The limit is the imagination!  WHATEVER!!!  IT COULD ALL BE TRUE!!!  My mind is experiencing a BIG BANG!!!  It’s expanding into the dark matter between my ears!  Weeeee!!!

And thus, I have realized something about myself, at the grand old age of 31.  (See kiddies, we’re always learning even when we’re mildly old or aged, like cheese (and sometimes that learning about self, seems negative… but in the end is actually pretty cool, even though your high school classmates would tease you for it, those assholes!)).

See, I’ll say it now….I am truly a sci-fi nerd.  I love that shit.  I will get immersed in it, I will think about it for days, I will wonder why we’re here and what we’re doing and how we got here and if we’ll still be around in a million years.  I want to know ALL THE DAMN ANSWERS!!  That’s my impatience coming out and Sci-fi gives me something fanciful and interesting to imagine.  A way to solve those existential puzzles that plague my mind.  I love that!  I guess I’d be bored if I had all the answers.  Maybe God doesn’t want us to be bored?

It makes me imagine that we’re like God’s pets and he keeps us entertained with all kinds of mysteries.  It’s like when I leave my cat at home all day and he needs stimulation or he’ll get bored or depressed.  So I give him cat nip, toys to play with, a scratching post, food to amuse him, etc.  And our benevolent but physically absent owner gave us beer and mysteries to keep us entertained.  He wouldn’t want us soiling the house due to anxiety.  (Too late!)

Existential Mysteries = dangling cat toy filled with nip.  God is yanking that toy around and we’re mesmerized!!  More BEER!!!

And FYI…when God gets home, I’m fully prepared to release all the excess energy I’ve been storing up all day, much like my cat who careens around the house like a madman.  PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!  GIVE ME LOVE!!  GIVE ME FOOD!!  PLAY WITH ME!!! God has it coming!!

So there’s my pitch.  Go watch all those shows on Netflixs as soon as possible.  Also I should be tried, found guilty and jailed for life because of how badly I’ve abused CAPS and exclamation points and question marks in this post (basically an overload of punctuation because I also abused these bad boys ()).  These are also frequent happenings in my life.  Abuse of things to an extent that is unhealthy.  Health, apparently, is a low use of exclamation points (low-dose and/or no-use because they are like gateway drugs to even more punctuation, as you can see in this post) and keeping excitement (CAPS-style excitement) to a minimum.  We must stay calm, or we’ll soil God’s house because of our separation anxiety and boredom.  WAIT…didn’t we already soil?  This HOUSE IS SOILED!!!  So go live inside your TV, it’s nice and clean in there!!

GODSDAMMIT!!!

 

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About Victoria Sawyer (282 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

4 Comments on Ahhh!!! Realization: I’m a Sci-Fi Nerd!!!

  1. Paul Krendler // July 22, 2014 at 2:53 pm // Reply

    Your list is shy one of the greatest sci-fi series of all time.

    Get thee a fez and a bow tie (for both art cool, verily) and seek ye The Doctor.

    Like

    • I actually haven’t ventured into that one yet, but I have heard good things about it. People are obsessed! Which version though is the best? The newest? I can totally nerd out on Netflix at any time, and I think they have the newer one. How can I be a true sci-fi nerd without the Doctor?! You are so right!!

      Like

      • Paul Krendler // July 22, 2014 at 3:03 pm // Reply

        All the new series is available on Netflix, covering doctors 9 through 11.

        The classic series is there also but is incomplete because many early episodes have been lost, and the effects are UNBEARABLY cheesy by today’s standards. But still fun.

        Like

        • NICE!! I’ll have to definitely check it out. The older version must be like the original Star Trek. Super-extra dose of cheese! It’s like a 4 cheese blend! Seems like these “levels” of cheese can’t be handled today. I tried to watch an episode once and it was TOO MUCH!! But back in the day, apparently, our levels of cheese were more subdued, so we could accept additional cheese (like when pizza hut added cheese sticks to the crust, or not like that since that was disgusting). I come from a long line of cheese loving people though. But I have not learned to love it. My dad loves “B” movies. Like freaking Tremors. Just the thought gives me tremors!

          Like

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