Angst Readers: I have won a contest because I wrote a post about my old Jalopy, so check it out on Too Funny Chicks. The best part is that my old Jalopy died right after writing said post. So…please go read the post first (below) and THEN come back and read the rest of the story here:
P.S. the sweetest thing about this post is that I wrote it a few weeks ago and LITERALLY 2 days after writing this, the Old Jalopy DIED!! I think maybe I cursed it with this post! Can you believe it?!!! So I was driving home from work and the Jalopy and I were traveling across an intersection when SUDDENLY and without WARNING of any kind, the Jalopy no longer was able to create forward motion. We were coasting together across a busy lane of traffic. We coasted right into park. The old Jalopy was making a terribly loud noise and no amount of pushing upon the pedals would create the forward motion so essential to Jalopys. Thank God we made it safely across the line of traffic whilst coasting.
Thus we were dead in the water. I.E. We were dead on the road and the Tranny in the Jalopy had officially decided that it no longer desired to go on living. I had to call a tow truck. And when the estimate came back from the garage, it was no longer feasible (in a monetary way) to keep the Jalopy on life support. Mr. VS and I had to decide to pull the plug and buy a new car, thus invoking a car PAYMENT.
CAR PAYMENTS are not thing you want to deal with. I had gone for so many years believing that cars are free or at least very close to free. And now suddenly I was looking online at cars for sale and realizing how Un-Free they are. They are extremely expensive. Mr. VS and I purchased a new vehicle. And thus our bank account is now smaller and we owe money during the month.
However, there is a golden lining (P.S.S. Mr VS is sooo jealous cause he still has an old jalopy that has not died! It has more MILES than my jalopy had! HAHA!!). The golden lining is that I now am one of those assholes with the auto-locks-windows-moon roof- etc. I am spoiled rotten and no longer suffering. I EVEN HAVE so many settings on my wipers for my rain experience that I don’t even know what to do! I EVEN HAVE a windshield wiper for the back window! THE LUXURY!! I don’t even know what to do. I’m stunned. I’m so much of an asshole now, it’s not even funny. Mr. VS holds hate inside his heart for me since I get to drive this new shiny vehicle to work every single day.
Truly my blog has the power of making all my dreams come true, if I complain enough. YEAH ANGST!! Also I am officially able to ALMOST be as lazy as I want to be. My dreams are truly coming true.
Oh, hey Ellen! Chick E and I would love to meet up with you and Chick P.
What’s Up, O? Yeah, Chick E and I would love to meet for a drink!
August 29th was TooFunnyChicks.com 1 Year Anniversary!
We’ve come a long way and have a long way to go still…
We have yet to receive any phone calls from Ellen or Oprah yet….
We ran a Blog-Off Contest and out of ALL the entries, this was the one that made us laugh the most!
Congrats to Miss Victoria Sawyer, you’ve won a shopping spree at Amazon.com!!
(You can spree all the way up until you reach $25)
Thanks for entering!!
And, without further adieu, here is the winning blog…
“My Old Jalopy Rant”
By Victoria Sawyer (Aka Chick V)
My car is super extra shitty. I’ve had the beast for EIGHT YEARS!! Yes…
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