My Waste Toner Cartridge Needs Replacement

When I say my waste toner cartridge needs to be replaced, what I really mean is that there is waste that needs eliminating.  And what I mean by that is that my body seems to need to eliminate waste all the freaking time and I’m over it.  Let’s just get over the ew factor here and realize that we’ve all got waste toner cartridges inside us that need replacing now and again.  And talking about it this way makes it sound much more civilized.  Like we’re all office equipment.

It’s like that book.  Everybody…you knows.  I would rename that book…Everybody has a Waste Toner Cartridge.

What’s the worst is how often the waste toner cartridge needs replacement.  Like ALL THE TIME!!  The real waste toner cartridge lasts way longer than the one I currently have installed inside me.  For example, I eliminate liquid waste like 40 billion times in a day.  At least it seems like that.  And it’s obnoxious.  Why?  Why?  The waste toner in the copy machine seems to last several months.  Maybe?  Why can’t I be like that?  That is seriously one of my dreams, to have a waste toner cartridge that would last a full month without changing.  Admit my life would be highly improved with just this one little change.  But no, NO, God says I can’t have a waste toner cartridge that lasts that long.  Mine must be emptied DAILY.  And not just once per day, but SEVERAL times per day.

The human body needs a better way to eliminate its waste. For realz.  I’m over the process and how often the process needs to be completed.  If only I could be equipped with a larger cartridge or one that can recycle that shit or something (literally).  Blurg.  Seriously, this post has no where else to go.  It’s OVER Victoria, just walk away. WALK AWAY!!

And now…MEMES!!!