Sarcasm Central

My Story of Panic: Angst

I’m honored I was asked to write “my story” of mental illness for Stigma Fighters Down Under. Here’s my post…

Stigma Fighters Down Under

I’ve described my panic attacks, anxiety and subsequent depression in many different ways over the 20 years I’ve battled my inner demons. Sometimes it is as an adversary, sometimes as a curse or monster, sometimes as my burden, my craziness, even my mental defect. My monster resorts to name calling, low self-esteem, secrets and shame. It’s always amazing to me every time my heart throbs wildly and my mind races with obsessive thoughts that a mental defect or burden can be so gut-wrenchingly physical in manifestation. The mind is powerful.

“I’ve lost myself behind the panic. I cannot see my reflection any longer. And as it takes over my brain, I know I am helpless to argue. I thought I was stronger than the monster. But it lives within me; it is a parasite and I am the host. I feed it unknowingly and in return it consumes my brain…

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About Victoria Sawyer (283 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

Step right up, it's about to get crazy in the hizzy

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