Sarcasm Central

Teachers Getting Their Viral 15 Minutes

I don’t know about you but I am SO SICK to death of seeing those posts on Facebook, etc, from teachers who are trying to “teach” their class something about the power/dangers of social media.  It’s so freaking annoying!  Each one acts like they’re the first person to ever come up with the idea and because it’s a teacher asking, every person out there is like…awwww…I’ll definitely share this!  For the kids!!

First off, why can’t these teachers just USE one of the posts from another teacher before them?  Like we really only needed to do this once.  We don’t need to keep repeating the experiment constantly. Do they really need to prove it by posting it on their own personal social media and then showing this, somehow, to their students? Dear kids, check out Ms. Bour’s social media account.  Look at her sexy selfies from vacation!

I feel like saying. ..kids if you share something stupid and inconsequential, NO ONE will share it! In real life! If you think you’re gonna get everyone’s attention on Twitter with your stupid thoughts and musings, it’s not gonna happen!  Trust me, I’ve been there! I’ve done that!  NO ONE CARES! This teacher is giving you false hope that whatever you share will be so important to everyone that everyone will share it instantly and it will go viral!  Nope!  Sorry!  The world actually hates you and unless you share something scandalous or embarrassing, no one will give a flying fuck!

Guys, I learned this the hard way with tears and a broken heart.  No teacher ever prepared me for how little people care on social media.  I blame my teachers! We didn’t even have Twitter back then, but still, it’s ALL THEIR FAULT!!  I was led to believe that I’m a special flower and anything I utter is PURE GOLD.  So why doesn’t TWITTER fall at my feet! Why aren’t twitter-peeps worshiping the ground I walk on? EXPLAIN THAT!! Why, even my naked photos produced so little reaction that I’m reeling.  SOB!! The world cares NOT!!!

MIND BLOWN! No one cares!?! LIAR!!

Plus you can tell these teachers are just doing it so they will be famous and be on the news.  How is this still news?  How is this still even local news? I know they’re struggling for stories but this isn’t even a story! It’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard of!  One I saw recently was a 2nd grade teacher trying to teach her class about how things you post online can go viral.  I was thinking…SECOND fucking GRADE!?!  Are these kids actually on social media? This teacher shouldn’t even be promoting social media to kids that young!  Why the HELL would a 2nd grader need social media? To post their little tiny selfies so that perverts can see them?  To connect with all their “friends” from all over the world?  WHAT THE HELL???

Look how this is still news!!!  ON TODAY!!

This is not news. Kids, guess what, if you actually have something important to share, like you wrote a novel or you took time to actually publish a well thought out blog post about an important topic, this will be NEWS to NO ONE!! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!!!  Sorry to disappoint you. I know that your teachers built you up to believe that you’re so important and special that your merest sneeze on social media would set the world on fire but it’s not true.

The only thing that will actually go viral (locally) are naked pics and those will only go “viral” with the horn-dog boys and snotty girls in your class. Gah. Social media is such a double edged sword! SM craves your naked photos but scorns your pithy rejoinders!  It’s like SM only cares for your body! Social Media is so damn shallow! Truthfully though, Social Media (the big SM) doesn’t give a shit about anything YOU do or say.  Not even your naked photos.  The only people who do care about your nakedness online are the actual people in your REAL everyday life.  And maybe pedophiles. (Ewwww)

Even the honey badger doesn’t give 2 fucks. If he doesn’t care about what you had for lunch, no one does.

Shouldn’t teachers these days also be teaching that social media is a place where there’s hatred and negative comments?!  No one is commenting negatively on their stupid hand written teacher post.  The teachers should post naked pics of themselves and then wait to hear the hate and heckling come pouring in.  That would be a true lesson to those kids. Life isn’t all hearts and flowers on a white board! Life is online hate and/or indifference. People online will crush you, little one. They will stomp all over your thoughts and feelings and POV.

My kids are totes growing up like it’s 1989.  Fuck this shit.

Also, is it just me or are people doing outrageous, stupid, ignorant shit online just to get attention? Like the girl who makes some outrageous comment, does she actually know better? But instead of saying what she believes, she says the most offensive thing ever just because it’ll gain national attention?!  Basically your on purpose bad behavior and ignorant comments are going to make you famous kids, so get on that.

This ardvark (ant eater?) looks dope. I’d follow his twitter feed so fast it’d make your head spin. Forget the kids and their dumb posts that won’t go viral, this is where its at.

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About Victoria Sawyer (281 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

10 Comments on Teachers Getting Their Viral 15 Minutes

  1. It’s funny because I did a tweet basically saying how much funnier I am than one of the Jonas brothers and how he gets like 2000 likes and retweets and I get like 0. It’s isn’t how interesting or funny the tweet is but who you are. He could tell people he is brushing his teeth and he’d get 5500 follows.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOLZ. It’s so true, it’s all about who you are. Don’t even get me started on the 500 selfies.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m loving the ardvark 🙂 I’d follow him too. Ugh. Selfies. Do you guys have those selfie stick things you can buy over there? Guess I shouldn’t be upset someone is cashing in on the ‘look at me’ crowd.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes we have those selfie sticks too! I haven’t actually seen anyone using one in real life, but I’ve seen them used on TV etc. There’s really so much self-love it’s ridiculous! I can’t handle it! I was just reading some braggy posts on FB and was losing my mind over it. #lovemylife! #lovemyjob! #SHUTUP!! haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. RIGHT?! I’m a teacher and even I’m sick of it. Seriously?! Like this hasn’t been done to DEATH? Ugh… could we please come up with something a little more original? Ew.

    Liked by 1 person

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