Sarcasm Central

Screw You Credit Card Nation

It seems like every time I go anywhere these days I’m offered a $%&*@ credit card.  Do you know how this enrages me?! It does! I want to have a normal enjoyable shopping experience but when it comes time to check out, you have to basically fight off the cashier trying to shove a store credit card into your wallet. It feels like these cashiers are dealing in high pressure drugs or something.  “You want it? I got the goods, you know you want it.  You can save 10% on every purchase. You can spend money you haven’t even earned yet, on shit you don’t need! I’ve got the intravenous connection to someone else’s money you’ve been waiting for.  No you don’t have to pay it back!” *hides the fine print*

Basically.

There are so many reasons that this enrages me into a flaming tower of righteousness. First off, it’s extremely lame to me that every damn business out there thinks, “Hey, we’re not making enough profits on actually SELLING SHIT (which is our main purpose for being) let’s also try to get people into massive debt by forcing high interest credit cards into their wallets (basically a reverse pickpocket scheme that ends up with the same loss of cash)!  YEA!”  I feel like the devil is telling them to do this.  High interest rate credit cards are the devil’s candy and these stores are luring the unsuspecting innocents to their doom.  Seriously, guys, WAKE UP!!  This shit is happening and it’s TOTES LEGAL!

Secondly, why would I want YOUR shitty credit card over a regular shitty credit card? Oh, I can save 10%?! OH REALLY?!  I can save 15% on this purchase and 10% going forward?! REALLY, CAN I?!  Can I also earn shitty lame “REWARDS”?  CAN I?!?! YIPPEE!! Guess what, that 10% you saved, you’re gonna pay 20% later when you don’t pay your credit card off every month because you spent money you didn’t have.  And guess whose laughing all the way to the bank? Yup, that goddamned sleazy retailer.

One of the worst offenders in my opinion is Kohls.  Every time I go there, they try to shove their credit card down my throat in a rude and annoying manner.  Every time I say NO, they keep pushing and pushing. I had one rude cashier who wouldn’t take no for an answer.  She just kept going on and on and basically trying to belittle me and give me shit for not wanting their stupid credit card.  It made my shopping experience miserable.

I think most people out there know that credit exists (if not, where have these people been living?)  Therefore, if they wanted it, they would seek it out.  Stop trying to pressure people into it! I’m sure there are some people who are more open to suggestion who just sign up for all kinds of credit cards and thus owe a shit ton of money.

I feel bad for these people because I’m sure credit can be like a drug, or at least shopping can be and credit is just the vehicle (a la the needle or drug dealer).  It’s like offering someone a beer at the register who’s an alcoholic. COME ON DUDE, TAKE THE DRINK!!  I’ll let you save 10% on your order!! and later I’ll screw you by making you pay 2x for this item.  You know you want to!!! Plus we, the company don’t give a #%$&* about you, in fact we hate you and only want your money.  Take the drink! I hope your life sucks!

It’s gotten so bad that even my bank is in on the game.  I can’t even go and cash a check in peace without them saying, “We notice you don’t have an XYZ credit card, would you like to sign up?  It’s a rewards card, BLAH BLAH BLAH.” It’s like, really?  Even at the bank, I have to fight off your credit card advances?!  WHAT THE HELL!!  Is no place sacred anymore?!  I feel like the only 2 places I buy things that don’t try to force a credit card on you is the grocery store and the gas station self serve pump and I’m sure they’ll get in on the game soon enough.

I feel violated every where else I go and it makes me absolutely hate these people pushing this shit, even though I know they are being forced to by the company.  I loathe the entire thing.  I cringe and feel dirty when I’m fighting them off.  NO I DON’T WANT IT!! BACK OFF!!

Cause they don’t accept a simple no the first time. They keep yapping about what you could get. I want to raise my voice and say, “let me speak to your store manager!” and then say, “You JERK!!  Stop forcing credit cards on people that don’t need or want them! Why don’t you tell the truth in your little spiel? Why don’t you mention how high the interest rate is?  Why don’t you explain what a high interest rate means? Instead of pushing the old CC why don’t you actively go out and screw some little old lady or depressed 20-something of their hard earned cash by forcibly taking their damn money from their pockets? This little CC scheme of yours is basically the same thing, amounting to trickery, stealing and preying on the weak and uninformed? Why don’t you and your company go F-off! and LEAVE ME and everyone else ALONE!”

I get so enraged at checkout that I want to curse out the employee trying to push this shit, which I realize isn’t fair but seems like the only option in the minute while I’m getting fired up.  It’s like…put somewhere in your records that I do not want your craptastic credit card and NEVER NEVER ask me that again or I am taking my business elsewhere FOREVER! And I’m taking my friends and family too!  And I fully plan on blogging about this shit! I will blacken your damn name with all 5 of my followers!!

I want to say…Okay, I get asked this damn question about credit EVERY time I come here and EACH AND EVERY time I’ve said NO, do I really need to continue to play this game with you?  When will you get the point!?! I want to jump in and stop them even before they start their little patter and say, I hate salesman, I hate your sleazy forcing ways, I don’t want to hear what you have to say because even if you said this entire store was free I still wouldn’t sign up for your stupid credit card.

Speaking of Salesmen have you noticed that it seems like they have no soul?!  Seriously, it seems that way. I’m sorry to offend any salesmen (people) out there who actually do have a soul, but I gotta say that in general when I see that fake salesman smile, their slippery ways and those glassy eyes that refuse to notice social and body language cues, I get enraged and livid.  Salespeople are so lame.  They attempt to trick you into buying shoddy shit.  They are just as bad as the credit cards.  Where I work we have several slippery types that stop by now and then and they’re so nasty! This one guy always brings me a Kit Kat. It’s like bribery and he has this shit-eating little smile while doing it! They are literally doing the devil’s work. How can they live with themselves? Plus, the joke’s on him, I have nothing to do with buying shit from his type! HAHA!

It makes me shudder just to think of them and their cold eyes and lifeless smiles! Sometimes the cashiers start to get this look about them when forcing the credit cards.  The whole thing is so devoid of actual caring or emotion and the aim is so obviously monetary and taking advantage of people that it’s disgusting. Humanity at its absolute worst. CHARLATANS!!! HYPOCRITES!!  LIARS!!

People, we’ve got to make this shit stop!  How can we tell retailers that this isn’t appropriate or wanted? How can I have a pleasant shopping experience once again without dreading the checkout?  I realize these assholes are all about making money, apparently no matter what the societal cost but this is too much! The whole idea of credit cards is to screw people out of their money in a rude way.  It’s not like people really use credit cards to get out of a bind.  They don’t help you get your life back on track. They help you go more and more into debt.  They’re helping (i.e. tricking) people into making irresponsible choices.

I know there are lots and lots of people out there who are basically slaves to their credit card bills. And are they responsible for making poor choices? Sure they are, but at the same time, they were pushed and pushed by these companies and it’s hard to fight it off when they try to make it seem so appealing with no downside that’s obvious.  It’s not until you’re too far into debt that you realize it’s a huge huge problem. This is the strong preying on the weak!  This is a goddamned David and Goliath story people!!!  I want to take a slingshot to these retailers and credit card companies.  Right between the eyes, big boy, and down ya go.  BOOYA!

P.S. Don’t you love it when I rant? I get really…sarcastic and sort of weirdly funny when I get on a bender. That shit just FLOWS from my rage.  It’s glorious. I wish  got in a rage more often. What else can I get fired up about???

 

YES IT IS DEAD-EYED SLEAZY WILLY WONKA! Now gimme a Kit Kat!!

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About Victoria Sawyer (281 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

8 Comments on Screw You Credit Card Nation

  1. Hottywood Helps // March 30, 2015 at 11:39 am // Reply

    Credit card rape? LOLOL GENIUS! I so feel your pain. #HandsYouaTubofVaseline

    Like

  2. Well one thing is a credit card, where you accumulate your debt, and by the way that is the choice of the individual not of the company or employees, they just are doing their job and making a profit. Normal course of action if you ask me they are not in business to go broke and let all the employees running out to get food stamps. And then there is the cards they give you when you buy things and if you keep buying things you can use that “credit card” or “gift card” to get a discount. It´s a win win situation I think. I have one for the supermarket that I frequent on a constant monthly basis and I do get quite some good discounts. I could not frequent it as much, but that´s my choice. So what it all comes down to is personal responsibility.

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    • I’m all for personal responsibility, trust me, but I also know a lot of good people with massive credit card debt. The national average is like $15,000 per family of debt. That’s insane! And the interest rates on these cards are very high, higher than interest rates on regular credit cards which makes it very hard to pay them off completely because they keep compounding. They are a BAD deal! I see it as a cancer. It won’t go away and yes it’s legal, but it is so annoying to have to tell them no every time I shop. I hate trying to get them to leave alone on it.

      And I’ma hardass about credit. I have one card. There are other people who were not taught how to handle money (as it’s not taught in most schools and their parents probably don’t know how to handle it either) and these people will think they are getting a good deal according to what the stores tell them. Many of them are young and inexperienced with money and rack up the debt without realizing it. I think it’s wrong.

      Morally, I think it’s obnoxious that they can do this to people without telling them the whole story. There’s a reason that the small print is small and in legal mumbo jumbo no normal person can understand. They want to keep the truth about these cards a secret and dupe people into getting them and thus make more money on their ignorance.

      And yes, these stores need to make profits, but how about making better products? I realize this is a huge money maker for these companies and I’m sad that it is. I wish our culture would change and more people would be against cards. Most people won’t be against them until it’s too late and they owe tons of money. This hurts society too. Going bankrupt doesn’t mean the debts just go away. Someone always has to pay.

      Check out these links:
      http://www.thesimpledollar.com/why-store-credit-cards-are-a-bad-deal-even-if-they-save-10-now/
      http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/retail_card-stores-survey-apr_2014-1276.php
      http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/money101/lesson9/

      Oh and those grocery store rewards cards are a completely different story. No credit involved at all.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. AHHH I’ve had the worst experience at American Eagle, which is why I no longer shop there. I think the cashier asked me like 5 times if I wanted to sign up and I said no every time…which just elongated my check out process that should have taken 2 minutes, and it really took about 10.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have two words for you: internet shopping. Much easier. And “enrages you into a flaming tower of righteousness” – loved that. Judging by your rant, the credit card push must be pretty bad over there. It’s not great here, but I generally seem to avoid the pushy element of it – see earlier point about internet shopping 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s annoying, but can also be rewarding. I’ve had several trips funded by credit card rewards for example.

    Like

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