Sarcasm Central

Work From Home Day

Did you know that today is both Earth Day AND Administrative Professional’s day? That’s a rhetorical question, of course you knew! You are SO on top of things.  I just hope you’ve remembered to bring flowers for your Admin’s today because they will NOT hold your calls and will schedule impossible meetings if you don’t.

Anywayyy…So my post is extra important due to the aligning of the stars because both Earth adherents and enthusiasts and Administrative stereotypes alike will be thrilled with the message. Also I wish I was God on high so I could say, ye men and ladies, this is now law and shall be followed or hell and brimstone are your just rewards! What I say is LAW!! I wish that I was God handing down the ten commandments to his old friend Moses. Because guys, somehow we act like the way things are now was handed down as if law from God on high. We refuse to budge or change.  It’s ridic. But alas, I’m not God or Moses,  just some lousy egocentric rhetorical question askin’ blogger on the ‘nets.  Still, this shit should be law, STAT.

So let’s start with Earth Day where you admit things that I demand, such as: whether you believe in climate change or not (every time you throw away styrofoam an Angel gets its wings ripped off), I think it’s safe to say that our use of fossil fuels isn’t good for our environment or other species. No one could argue that! TRY IT! So in order to celebrate Earth Day properly, I’m proposing a new holiday.

It’s called: Work From Home Day. This day would be akin to how cities try to turn out the lights for an hour as a large group to show how much power we can save (i.e. Earth Hour), but instead this would be a trial run to see how much energy we can save by NOT commuting to work. The benefits are VAST!  How stressed are you? How annoying is your commute? How much do you absolutely loathe traffic? Administrative Professionals of all types should laud me as their hero because we ALL WANT THIS!!

AHAHA. Poor Earth, to be saddled with us.

Granted, it may be hard for some people to calculate energy saved, but for those of us who drive to work everyday, it would be easy enough to enter the miles  we didn’t drive into some calculator that could keep track of how much energy was saved during that day. WATCH THE NUMBERS SOAR!!! Remember, this is just like that time that I solved climate change and silenced the alien laughter.  I am nothing, if not persistent, which could also be called obsessiveness and/or boring constantancy on certain subjects. It could also be due to my short term memory failure.  But the reason itself doesn’t matter!

It’s my passionate belief as both a denizen and cult member of Earth and an Administrative Professional with a pure hatred for my laborious commute and a horror of traffic that often manifests itself in rage that with our current technology we could make a big difference by working from home and saving on fossil fuels used for transportation. I also find it ridiculous that we heat/cool our homes when we’re at work. Why not take advantage of that warm house and our level of technology to SAVE on fossil fuels?! Day after day this would make a huge difference! I think of this shit EVERY day when I’m driving to work, wondering why in hell I continue to do it when my job could be completed from home just as easily.

I WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER!! It’s just like how my body isn’t so happy that I’m its incompetent manager.

I know, I’ve already written about stuff like this before, but how can we make this a thing? It’s also something that’s sustainable, i.e. something that could turn into an everyday thing. What if 25% of the work force stayed home every day? Or if not that, what if people stayed home for even 1 day per week? How much would that help? How much less traffic would there be? How much less emissions would be released into the atmosphere? How much less stress would we feel? How much less TIME would be wasted getting to the office? How much more time would we have for our families or taking care of ourselves?

I know not everyone can participate in something like this. It’s hard with service jobs to stay home, but for those that can, it could be an easy way to reduce emissions, fast. Because guys, as I’ve said a million times, WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY!! Why on EARTH (literally) don’t we use it to reduce emissions??? Why is it that humanity could actually try to solve it’s own problems but because of “tradition” or whatever it is that makes us stick to old outdated ways of doing things, do we refuse to actually try something new? I haven’t even HEARD anyone suggest this plan!?!? We try all kinds of other useless shit to reduce emissions when there are easier ways that we can actually implement STAT!!

Who’s with me on this? Angst readers, I submit to you that WE can make a difference! We finally have the technology needed to make this happen. Let’s do it! Let’s work in our underwear EVERY DAY!!!  WHOOP!!

Moses has declared that you work from home on your tablet. Ye shall go forth and do so!

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About Victoria Sawyer (282 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, aspiring graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

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