Sarcasm Central

Frankenstein’s Monster: Plastic Surgery, Body Confidence and Social Media

Rot Box, I love you and you carry around my brain in a padded cradle. I read an article over at  Yahoo the other day about how plastic surgery is now more accepted in our society than it was in the past.  I.e. Celebrities in the past hoped to never be asked about whether or not they’d had work done, now people are posting that they’ve had work done to social media.  So clearly, the information is now out there and people are owning up to it and claiming that they feel “so much better about themselves” after having work done.

I have mixed feelings about plastic surgery.  Part of me says, never say never!  What if I age horribly?  EEK!!  A little nip, a little tuck?  Eh?? The other part of me is like..BULLSHIT!!! Because if you look at before and after pics of people like Kylie Jenner, you’ll see that she looks like a completely different person and it seems a bit weird to think that we’re no longer who we were when we were born, we’re whoever we WANT to be. We pick our noses out of catalogs! (HA!) We’re as beautiful as money can buy! That’s just a bit freaky. And what if you come out of the Doctor’s womb office looking…off or not how you imagined?? Seems like a pretty big risk!

And she’s SO YOUNG!! She’s not fighting the effects of aging, she’s changing many things about her face and body at a young age, before she’s even had a chance to live in her natural body as an adult. Remember how stupid you were at that age? Would you want you at 17 making decisions about your body, like permanent stuff? Chest too small? Get implants. Lips too thin, get injections. Nose not quite right, get it redone. Want more junk in the trunk? Harvest junk from some where else and TRANSPLANT to the trunk! (Trash to treasure? Landfill to my house? Another man’s junk is my treasure? I.e. my own unwanted leg fat is now my bootay! WHOOP! Everyone wins! Hand out the trophies! I’ve been growing that junk for years, just so I could re-purpose it!)

So essentially, if plastic surgery becomes more affordable, everyone on planet-motherfucking-earth will look the same, like some kind of weird plastic robot with a perfect nose, plump lips, big butt, huge thigh-gap, skinny limbs etcetera. AND what the hell is going to happen when big butts or plump lips go out of style? You get a whole new face and body! To match the trends! It’s like your body has become your clothing. We’re used to changing clothing with styles, but please, changing your body to match the styles??? What if it’s permanent and you can’t go back? And you decided at 17 what you wanted to look like for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. A modification of a modification of a modification doesn’t seem like it’ll yield good results.

Right now, you could say that the rich have a monopoly on body modification. Look at all the celebrities and rich house wives with these weird plastic faces! The other thing that gets me is these huge asses out there…i.e. literally HUGE asses, like Kim K. or Nikki M.  Seriously I could mean that in either way! Guys, those bums are not real.  (GASP!) They defy even God’s wildest imagination in size and proportion. He was like day-um, I didn’t create this shit!!  What the hell is happening on planet earth!!  I turn my eye away for a millisecond and the whole world goes CRA-CRAY!!

So…now we (the regular plebeians) feel like hell about ourselves because we don’t meet that standard of beauty or we don’t have the cash to change ourselves or we just don’t believe in changing ourselves like that anyway. And we’re being made to feel BADLY about ourselves, subliminally! AND people, some people, will believe that looking perfect is achievable and will judge you for not having that look! The pressure to change yourself is going to increase over time! Think about all the poor young people growing up, with this kind of pressure! And when it all goes down, everyone partaking in the old plastics, people will start to look like Frankenstein monsters!!! This isn’t sustainable! Nope. It’s not. It’s fucking ridiculous, like some kind of plastic doll with overblown proportions and some sewn on new lips and boobs and butts. It’s fake as hell.  We have officially BECOME  Barbie Dolls. And this is what is broadcast to us all over TV.  I thought I was immune, but I gotta say…I doubt anyone is.

Here’s the thing, I went to this picnic the other day with a few co-workers.  There were a lot of college students there and the huge thigh-gaps, skinny appendages and somehow, inhumanely sized breasts (how DID THE FAT GET THERE AND NO WHERE ELSE??) were all on display. I said to my co-workers…I don’t really miss being 18, however I do miss my old body.  It was pretty sweet.  I never appreciated it back then, AT ALL and that sucks.

My co-worker said to me…yeah but your body right now is the best it’s gonna be for years and are you appreciating it now?  Nope!! NO!! I am definitely NOT appreciating my body now, nor have I ever truly appreciated it, even though it’s a pretty decent body, as far as bodies go.  So why the hell don’t I appreciate my very own hunk of flesh? (Stop making it sound so sexy Victoria!  STOP IT you tease!). I don’t know!!  But I have an idea, it’s because of all this damn MEDIA!!

Seriously though for several years now I’ve engaged in a slight but noticeable (to me) weight gain extravaganza.  It’s because I eat mostly whatever I want and lately I’ve been refusing to exercise, so there you have it, the perfect recipe for some weight gain. 2 parts pizza, 1 part watching TV on the couch = weight gain. The thing is that my body is still pretty damn good generally, but I refuse to feel positive about it.  I feel self-conscious, I feel chubby, I feel unsexy.  I refuse to post photos of my face to Facebook because I feel like you can see the weight gain in my cheeks, I feel like a round-chub-face.  I worry about my little “pouch” or my chubby arms. In general, I don’t feel CONFIDENT.

Why?  WHY don’t I feel confident?  Why do I feel like hiding my body, even from MR. VS? That’s pretty lame, right?  What has gotten into my mind that has made me feel this way? I think that partly, it’s social media and the MEDIA at large, as far as celebrities and our obsession with how people look. Everyday you look on FB and see selfies and other photos of how everyone else looks.  It’s not like the old days where you might completely miss someone’s skinny/extra fit phase, or someone else’s chubby phase because you didn’t see them in person for a while.  Now, it’s all out there for everyone to see. And trust me, when someone thinks they’re looking good, the photos DO NOT STOP! Here I am at this location, and here I am looking hot at that location, and here I am at home with my cat, looking smokin’ hot! Here’s a bikini photo, here’s a photo of a tight little dress, here’s one of my sexy gym shorts!

And guys, there’s some kind of epidemic going on because EVERYONE and I do mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON on my Facebook feed is running, or going for a run, or just completed a 5K.  EVERYONE.  I’m like…fuck it!! STOP RUNNING!! STOP SHOWING OFF!! Seriously, they are only doing it to show off, lame!! I hate when people exercise as a form of showing off. If you enjoy something, GO FUCKING ENJOY IT AND STOP POSTING IT ALL OVER FACEBOOK!!

So here’s the thing…I think there’s just far too many opportunities for comparison.  And we’re made to think that if we’re not happy with ourselves we need to CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE.  I had a conversation with a friend of mine recently where she said, I’m SICK of self-help.  What she meant is that instead of accepting ourselves we’re constantly being fed a line of bullshit about how we need to CHANGE ourselves in order to be happy. GUYS this is a billion dollar a year scam!! If you feel badly about yourself, THEY WIN AND MAKE MONEY and celebrities are their poster children!!

The same need to change thing applies to our bodies.  We’re constantly told that we need to lose weight, get work done, exercise, tone up, change our entire appearance to be happy. It frankly sucks and creates so much anxiety, stress and unhappiness. I’m over it.

I personally think acceptance is the way to go! I‘ve said it about my anxiety before…acceptance reduces stress! The same thing applies for how you feel about your body! It’s a much gentler, less expensive, less invasive, healthier way of finding happiness, because even with those changes to your body, are you truly happy?  ARE YOU REALLY KYLIE?! Yes, I suppose that you’ve bought yourself sexiness, and a hundred million selfie opportunities and sure you’re making money, but doesn’t it feel hollow? Yes, you’ve bought yourself a certain lifestyle and you have NOTHING holding you back anymore, physically, no insecurities at all,  but really are you HAPPY and are you REALLY no longer insecure? Deep down don’t you realize that how you look isn’t special because anyone with a chunk of change can look just like you!? There’s nothing unique or special about your outsides. Oh and someday you want to try out your original model? That ship has sailed honey!

I doubt she’s REALLY happy.  I doubt any of them are, because where does it stop?  As the years go by, how will you keep up with changing trends? I guess I can see how celebrities are under even more pressure than the rest of us, so it really must be hard to be a celebrity. But it seems to me like they WANT to be celebrities, especially people like the KK’s out there who aren’t famous for anything other than being famous.  It’s really a sickness.

And I gotta say…why the hell should you change yourself?  Why do we NEED to change ourselves in any way to be happier, better, more satisfied?

I mean, be healthy, sure, be that.  But otherwise, why spend so much stress and energy and emotion on unhappiness with yourself and forcing change?  I think it’s best to accept ourselves for who we are, flaws and all.  And now that I’m writing this, I’m determined to turn over a new leaf and love my body as it is, TODAY. Yes, it could use some toning and a bit o’ exercise, but…it’s my body and it’s the youngest its ever gonna be from here on out.


Besides, guys, whenever I pass bloated roadkill on the side of the road, I’m reminded that this old hunk of flesh I call my own, is very very impermanent.  It’s going to rot away someday guys. Just as every other living creature on earth will return to the earth through decomposition, so too will my very own personal chicken cutlet go the way of the recycle bin. So let’s not get too hung up on a rotting piece of meat. K’ thanks! (I’m making you blush with all this sexy talk! I gotta tone it down and stop trying to turn you guys on, this talk is getting too sexy!!)

Here’s some affirmations you can repeat in the mirror:

Rot Box, I love you. You work, for the most part and allow me to do the things I love, like eating, walking around to see shit, and you carry my brain around in a padded cradle.  ~ XOXO Victoria

Skin canister and supporting bones you are amazing. And you’re all mine! No one else has one just like mine! I love all your unique natural pockets of fat, including ones that aren’t exactly where I’d like them to be. It’s what makes you special ~ XOXO Victoria

Meat Popsicle, I love you because yes, I need you to survive, so I’m glad you’re around, however you’re not the most important thing about me, you are impermanent.  I’ll call you temporary housing for the Victoria Soul Module. Fingers crossed that the Victoria Soul Module will still be around when the meat goes bad. ~ XOXO Victoria

SO MUCH SEXINESS!!  EEK!! I can’t be held responsible for all the babies born 9 months after reading this post!!!


About Victoria Sawyer (283 Articles)
Victoria Sawyer is a blogger, author, graphic designer, social media enthusiast and mental health advocate. Shocking, honest, sarcastic and humorous, Victoria aims to make readers feel tangible emotions and physical sensations through writing that brings you into the mind and body of someone suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and this strange often darkly hilarious thing we call life. She published her novel Angst in 2013, which realistically and often graphically depicts life with mental illness. Along with crazy blogging, Victoria enjoys reading historical novels, playing with her naughty cats, engaging in rants and metaphysical existential meltdowns and using punctuation to excess in everything she writes.

3 Comments on Frankenstein’s Monster: Plastic Surgery, Body Confidence and Social Media

  1. I like to look at the plastic horse faced ladies in Hollywood that took it all too far, for my frame of reference. Whenever I see them I know for a fact that I made a good decision (or non-decision) to not ever get that stuff no matter what. I’ll be unhappy with my own body thank you very much. I earned this gut from enjoying ALL THE PIZZA.

    Liked by 1 person

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